Body Double

Last week Lizzi Miller made headlines over a photo of her printed in Glamour magazine. The model was captured nude in a very natural and comfortable state, her belly exposed in all of its normal glory.

Women are still talking, blogging, and tweeting about the picture. Funny, that this picture showed up just as I was beginning to question the changes in my own 43-year-old body.

Now, I have been fortunate when it comes to weight. I guess you could say I'm the opposite side of the spectrum. While most women struggle to lose weight, I struggled to gain. You read that correctly. Gain weight.

It started at an early age. I was always a thin girl. Okay, skinny. That's a word I have had to come to terms with over the years. (I'm not skinny, I'm thin, there's a difference). But I was skinny. Olive Oyl looked like a body builder compared to me. Curvaceous was not a word that would ever be used to describe me.

When I was a junior in high school, my family physician even put me on weight gaining diet. He told me to eat a donut and drink a shake every day for 30 days. That's right, a donut and shake. Every day. God love him. After 30 days, I gained one pound. One. His advice, "when you turn 20 your metabolism should slow down, just be patient."

Patient. When I turned 21, I weighed the same as when I graduated from high school. 121 pounds. At close to 5'10, this is not much. I'm not sure I even registerd on the BMI. I continued to never miss a meal, plus added a snack in between breakfast and lunch, and lunch and dinner, and maybe a bowl of cereal before bed.  "When you turn 30, your metabolism should slow down..."

On my 30th birthday, at 125 pounds, I wondered if I'd ever know what it was like to have a real woman's body, complete with curves. I wondered if I'd ever have to watch what I eat. Exercise.

Then, at age 36 I was diagnosed with peri-menopausal symptoms. I was beginning early menopause. Along with all of the other wonderful attributes of a menopausal woman, I began to gain weight. Yea.

Slowly at first. Then a little more gradual until suddenly I noticed that my jeans were too tight, my shirts a little too clingy. What was this thing around my middle? I had read that women going through menopause can gain anywhere from 5-20 pounds. Surely, not me. Yes, quite possibly me.

Since spring of this year I have gained 7 pounds, plus a pooch. Me. A pooch. And no, I don't mean a cute little dog. I mean that lovely poochy mid-section, the thing behind the muffin top. Maybe having the body of a real woman is not what I wanted. Maybe I shouldn't have eaten all those donuts in high school. Maybe I should take up running or, God forbid, join a gym...

Then, the picture.

Where does all of this come from? Why do we obsess over our bodies, whether they're too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, too anything. What does it take for a woman to be happy with the body she's in? I like where I am in my life. I'm pursuing my dreams, I have a great job, I have a wonderful husband, an incredible family, a group of loyal and fun-loving friends. So why the question mark when it comes to our bodies. Why do we go there?

Six weeks ago, after discovering the seven pounds during a weight check on a routine Dr. visit, I decided to take up yoga and pilates again. Not because of the pooch. Well, okay a little for the pooch, but more so because I miss the way I felt when I was practicing yoga. That serenity, that strength. Plus, I have more energy and I sleep better.

And if it helps with the newly added pounds, okay. If not, that's okay too. Really.They say you don't always get what you want. Well, I did. No more Olive Oyl for me. I've got that real woman's body now, not perfect, but mine. All mine. And I choose to be happy in it.

Comments

[Chandra]

Love the insight and personal story.

I truly believe it takes a ton of practice not to care about the number on the bathroom scale. Even after I realized I had ran 52 miles in August, I still found myself disappointed that I had only moved the scale by one pound during the same time.

Then I had to remind myself (again) that I didn't care.

[Fairy Convent]

It is always a struggle with women isn't it? But once we love the body we are in it brings happiness. But I love doing Yoga. I believe Yoga can cure anything! So bring on the curves, bumps, big boobies and all!